Ancestry DNA

We recently took advantage of an Ancestry site DNA sale.  We have eagerly awaited our results.  Last Saturday late morning/early afternoon John received his results.  Having sent our samples off at the same time, I thought mine would be along shortly.  I stayed up until 10 that night waiting to see if mine would come.  Finally I decided I needed to give up waiting and go to bed.  I did not want to fall asleep in church the next day.  I woke up Sunday morning and checked my email before getting ready.  My results were available and I also had a message from someone who our DNA showed we were 3rd cousins on our paternal side.

I quickly looked at the results and replied to this cousin who lives in England.  We continue to correspond although we do not yet know how we are cousins - we have not found the common surname.  I looked forward to diving into my results after church.

We got home from church, ate lunch and before settling down for a Sunday afternoon nap, I reviewed my results.  What did I want to look at first?  Did I want to see where my family had come from?  Did I want to see potential relatives?  Did I want to see which traits I had inherited from which parent?

I first looked at my family’s history.  Having heard from where family had come to the United States, that was really not a surprise.  The exciting thing was seeing which countries made up my DNA and from which parent those had come.

Then there were the potential relatives - 50,000 on both sides.  20,000+ on each side.  An aunt was listed.  Then a first cousin from each side.  The potential relatives are listed on a card.  Name is on the first line, relation on second line (the aunt was listed as close family), whether Parent 1 or Parent 2’s side, if that person has a tree in the ancestry site, how many people are on the tree and who manages the tree.  

Next I looked at the traits.  This was interesting.  From what I understand Ancestry has given out surveys regarding the traits.  Somehow they put the traits with the DNA.  Most were spot on.  This was the most freeing part of the test for me.  I was not wrong.  I did belong.  Growing up (and still to this day) I have felt like I did not belong.  And being a people pleaser that is hard.  As I was talking to my sister I was in tears as I said, “you don’t know how freeing this is for me.  We do belong.  We are not wrong.”  We both commented we have felt like square pegs being pounded into round holes.  

This was a great experience.  We took advantage of a Father’s Day sale so got the test for a discounted price.  If you would like to do this I would suggest looking at the Ancestry site and waiting for a sale.  You may be able to purchase them from amazon and other shopping sites as well.  There is a 6-8 week waiting period from the time you send off your sample until you get the results, but it’s well worth it.  I think you will enjoy seeing where you are from and how many cousins you may have.

Family

As I sat in the shelter Saturday and looked around, my heart was full.  I felt at ease.  I knew I was with people who loved me.

It was our turn to host the reunion held every 3 years.  Weeks, months, years had gone into the planning.  The nights leading up to the event had been sleepless ones.  Would everything go as planned?  Would the food arrive as scheduled?  Would...?  Would...?  Would...?  But sitting there that morning, I realized it didn't matter.  If the food didn't arrive and we had to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that would be okay.  If the cake frosting melted that would be okay.  Whatever happened no one would be upset...everything would be okay.

Before I go any further let me say I do so love the aunt and uncle who have been my parents these past 39 years.  Thank you for letting me call you my parents.  I appreciate them blending us (my sister and me) into their family.  I know they love us as their own.

But yet sometimes I miss my Daddy so much.  I've often wondered why I miss him more than Mother.  Is it because I was a Daddy's girl?  Is it because I was raised by Mother's sister so still had the connection to that side of the family?  Is it a little of both?

When this reunion happens, I know I'm going to be with people who grew up knowing my Daddy.  (Daddy was 16 years younger than his brother.  He was 8 years older than his oldest nephew.)  They will be able to share stories of Daddy.  They also can tell me about Grandma and Grandpa.  Grandpa died shortly after I was born.  Grandma died when I was 3 years old.  I only have one memory of Grandma so I love hearing about them.

I love hearing that Grandpa made doughnuts.  I'm glad to find out why Grandma was in a wheelchair.  It's nice to hear Grandpa & Grandma loved their boys and their grandchildren.

This year my cousin had typed a diary that Grandma had written.  In the back she had a name index.  She put every name in the diary with a brief description of them.  If they are family the name and description is in bold print.  This is a treasure I'll enjoy for years to come.

I love all 3 families in which I was raised.  Nothing will change that.  Spending time with my birthfather's family is a special treasure - a brief glimpse into 1/2 of my DNA make-up.  The 1/2 I don't know as well.  

Max & Stasia Rose

F.T. & Neva Perry

Lessley & Theo Newland

I now have the desire to look at pictures from this weekend, read Grandma's diary, talk to my sisters and parents.  So I'll see you in another post.